


The Kids Aren't Alright

by hemotyping



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 1962, Civil Rights Movement, F/F, F/M, Gay Rights, Gender Roles, Historical, Homophobia, Humanstuck, M/M, Misogyny, Public Transportation, Racism, Seattle, Trans Character, Transphobia, correspondence through letters, much diversity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 04:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4208649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hemotyping/pseuds/hemotyping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas. You are the protagonist of this tale, but not the hero of it, largely due to the fact that you are generally more abrasive than heroic.</p><p>This fic is dedicated to the June 26th Supreme Court ruling and the decades of work that led up to it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Say Hey (I Love You)

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You are the protagonist of this tale, but not the hero of it, largely due to the fact that you are generally more abrasive than heroic. Your life is made challenging by the myriad of aspects of your character which society deems a great fault, and which you therefore do your best to hide. These include your ethnicity (German-American, meaning people call you white unless you tell them about your ancestry, in which case they call you a Nazi), your sexual orientation (entirely queer), and your religious preferences (decidedly atheist, though your father is a preacher). Despite these ‘flaws’, or perhaps due to the fact that they are considered flaws, you aspire to become an astrophysicist.

You let yourself into your considerably small house, noting almost immediately that your father is also home. He tells you to check for mail. You grumble and trudge back outside.

As it happens, there is, in fact, mail. Amongst the usual bills and business-related things for your dad, you find a crisp white envelope stamped for international delivery and addressed to one Karkat Vantas of Ballard in Seattle, Washington in all-too-familiar handwriting. Dropping the rest of the mail (completely pointless mail, you think) on the breakfast table after running back into the house, you continue to race up the stairs to your bedroom.

Once there, you flop onto your bed and tear open the envelope. This has become an occasional ritual for you. He seems to have typed his letter this time, the pretentious fuck. It's even typed in his signature violet ink.

hey kar

i hope this letter finds you wwell

God, he's still doing the weird accent-stutter thing. It started as an occasional joke between the two of you, imitating the unplaceable accent-stutter he has (had?) in real life, but now you can't escape it. You find it annoying and somewhat endearing.

i havve to admit i recievved your most recent letter a wwhile ago but i havvent made the time to respond until noww

noww bein the third a january

but i did take the time to TYPE my response for you so maybe that makes up for it?

thisll be a long-ass response too so that should help too

i knoww i knoww i just used too twwice in the same sentence but i cant vvery wwell do anyfin about it wwithout havvin to rewwrite this entire thing

an as much as i vvalue our friendship there is no wway in hell that im about to do that

Anyfin. Seriously. Still with the fish puns? After all these years?

an as you may havve noticed by noww ivve also decided that capital letters an punctuation are a WWASTE A TIME on a typewwriter

anywway

hmm

i dont reely knoww wwhat to say

wwell im in amsterdam noww an its beautiful kar youd lovve it

evven though you wwouldnt admit it

also i wwent on a wweekend trip about a month ago to the berlin wwall

got a rock from it

you probably knoww all about its history an such

oh cod i miss you

i knoww wwevve got this kinda unspoken rule not to talk about it but i fuckin miss you so much

i mean i miss evveryone some a course but you most of all cause you're my best friend an evveryfin

i also miss kan i guess

givve my lovve to her

an jake

tell him from me to keep his head up an evveryfin

an fef

cod i miss fef

but honestly i think if i could havve one person wwith me right noww id choose you not her

an noww i cant think a wwhat to wwrite

ivve been a lot a places but its been pretty unexcitin an lonely

all i reely wwanna do is hear from you

howw are you

howws evveryone

is ter still blind

(that wwas a joke kar im not an idiot)

are you still plannin on gettin that scholarship for college

has sol fallen off a bridge yet

jake doin alright an evveryfin

anywway

cod i hope i get to vvisit sometime soon

until next time i guess

~Eridan Ampora

You sigh softly. As much of a pompous jerk as your best friend may be, you miss him too, God help you. Wait, that was pretty good. You'll have to tell him that. It's kind of funny that the two of you are still best friends even though he's been abroad for years, thanks to his dad's stupid business. By which you mean the stupid business which his dad owns. Eridan is the most privileged little rich kid you've ever had the misfortune to meet- another reason it's weird that you're his friend. Then again, his concern for Jake's wellbeing is testament to the fact that while he may also act like a spoiled, privileged prick, he's a pretty okay guy once you get to know him. Honestly, he's a jerk (though clearly not a bigoted jerk) most of the time, but you like him.

There is a problem here, though. Eridan has kind of totally one-upped you with the typewriter thing. This cannot be allowed to happen.

You go downstairs. After a long conversation with your dad, you have located the old typewriter in the basement. You carry it upstairs (the noise it makes when scraped against the wall is not comforting) and dust it off, checking that all the keys are in working order before acquiring some paper, putting some gray (why gray? No one knows) ink in the machine, and sitting down. This is a commitment, you decide. There can be no editing of letters once the ink is on the paper. You have no room for error or redaction.

ERIDAN

OK, APPARENTLY THE CAPS LOCK KEY ON THIS VERITABLE DINOSAUR IS BROKEN. YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.

TO ANSWER THE SECTION OF YOUR LETTER IN WHICH YOU ASKED ME A FUCKTON OF QUESTIONS:

GENERALLY SICK AND TIRED OF LIFE

FINE

YES

(I BEG TO DIFFER)

YES, AND I'M BITTERLY REGRETTING IT EVERY MOMENT

NO, AND IT'S A TRAGEDY

AND YEAH, I'M FAIRLY SURE JAKE'S DOING AS ALRIGHT AS SOMEONE IN HIS SITUATION CAN BE. I FEEL BAD FOR HIM.

TO ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU DIDN'T EXPLICITLY ASK BUT THAT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS YOU WERE WONDERING:

I MISS YOU TOO, GOD HELP ME.

OTHER THAN THAT, THERE'S NOT MUCH HAPPENING. MIDTERMS WERE TERRIBLE, AS PER USUAL.

OH, AND I CAN'T REMEMBER IF I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS, BUT THE WORLD'S FAIR IS GOING TO BE HERE.

I AM REMINDED OF THAT FACT AS IT IS ENDLESSLY HERALDED BY A JOYFUL CACOPHONY OF VARIOUS CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT. THEY'RE BUILDING A SHITLOAD OF STUFF OVER THERE. SHOULD BE PRETTY COOL. ACTUALLY, IT BETTER BE. IT BETTER BE WORTH THE COUNTLESS MIGRAINES I HAVE SUFFERED SO THAT IT MAY BE BORN.

YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD ABOUT THE FAIR, COME TO THINK OF IT. THEY HAVE A BUNCH OF SHITTY TELEVISED ADVERTISEMENTS. IT'S GOING TO LAST LIKE SIX MONTHS. APRIL TO OCTOBER, I THINK. SHOULD BE A MAGNIFICENT RACKET.

ANYWAYS, YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT HOW THINGS ARE GOING OVER HERE. I COULDN'T ALWAYS MAKE OUT WHAT YOU WERE ACTUALLY SAYING AMONGST THE INFINITE SEA OF V'S AND W'S THAT WAS YOUR LETTER, BUT I GOT THE GIST OF WHAT YOU WERE ASKING.

SPEAKING OF JAKE, JOHN EGBERT IS AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK.

ALSO SPEAKING OF JAKE, GAMZEE IS LIKEWISE DOING AS ALRIGHT AS SOMEONE IN HIS SITUATION CAN BE, DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE'S BEEN TURNING TO SOME SUBSTANCES HE MAYBE SHOULDN'T BE. AND HE'S STILL IN THAT BIZARRE CULT, BY THE WAY.

SPEAKING OF TEREZI, TAVROS IS ALSO STILL AN INVALID.

KANAYA IS COMPLETELY HEAD OVER HEELS FOR ROSE LALONDE, ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE EITHER OF THEM KNOW IT YET.

AND YOU CAN ADD ARADIA TO THE LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING AS ALRIGHT AS SOMEONE IN THEIR SITUATION CAN BE (WHICH INCLUDES TEREZI AND TAVROS, BY THE WAY). A FEW DAYS AGO SHE GOT THROWN OUT OF A RESTAURANT BY THE MANAGER, WHO CALLED HER SOME INCREDIBLY RUDE THINGS INCLUDING A CERTAIN SLUR DERIVED FROM A SHORTENING OF THE WORD JAPANESE.

NEPETA’S BASICALLY FINE. SHE STILL WEARS THAT STUPID BLUE HAT.

Nepeta is your half-sister, and only you are allowed to call her hat stupid. The only time you and Eridan ever really fought was one time in junior high, when he flirted with her. You are proud to say that you proceeded to break his nose.

AND I HAVEN’T HEARD FROM FEFERI IN A WHILE. SHE’S JUST DOING WHATEVER YOU RICH KIDS DO WHEN YOU AREN’T TALKING TO YOUR PLEBEIAN FRIENDS, I GUESS.

AS FOR ME

I DON’T KNOW.

I MEAN, COMPARED TO ARADIA OR GAMZEE OR TAVROS I’M LIVING THE GODDAMN AMERICAN DREAM UP IN THIS SHIT.

I’M BUSY WITH SCHOOLWORK AND KEEPING MY EYES ON THAT SCHOLARSHIP UNLESS I WANT TO GO TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE, WHICH I DO NOT. COMMUNITY COLLEGE IS FOR VACUOUS HAMSTERS TRAGICALLY DEVOID OF ANY TRACE OF INTELLIGENCE OR MOTIVATION, AND I VEHEMENTLY REFUSE TO BE A HAMSTER. I AM GOING TO BE AN ASTROPHYSICIST, NOT A HAMSTER.

OTHERWISE, YOU KNOW, I PASS AS “NORMAL” FAIRLY WELL. I’M STILL UNBELIEVABLY PALE, YOU’LL BE PLEASED TO KNOW, SO NO ONE REALLY GIVES A SHIT UNLESS I TELL THEM I’M GERMAN OR QUEER.

You did not mean to type that. Eridan is surprisingly open-minded compared to the majority of society. Still, you’re tempted to just rewrite the whole letter. You made a commitment, though, and Eridan didn’t rewrite his letter through rain or sleet or grammatical trainwreck. He typed exactly what he wanted to say to you, as he wanted to say it, knowing that there were no take-backs, and there’s something genuine and meaningful about that that makes you feel like you kind of owe it to him to do the same. This is big, really big, but if he can keep quiet about Gamzee and Jake, why not you, too?

SO, YEAH. THAT’S ME AS OF NOW.

I EXPECT A *MUCH* FASTER RESPONSE OUT OF YOU THIS TIME, AMPORA.

KARKAT

There. You’re fucked. You seal the letter in an envelope, write Eridan’s temporary mailing address on the front, and carry it out to the mailbox.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is from the song Say Hey (I Love You) by Michael Franti & Spearhead, because some of the stuff Eridan said in his letter reminded me of that song.


	2. Didn't Start the Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat has a date with Terezi and institutionalized racism.

A month or so later, you’re standing in front of a light teal front door, waiting impatiently for your lunch date to emerge.

Not, like, your _date_ date, like someone you’d go with to prom and kiss or whatever. Your friend-date.

* * *

 

At long last, the aforementioned friend-date emerges, grinning in that ambiguously evil/mischievous/creepy way that is just so her, in all her red-spectacled glory. You say hello. Her scarily accurate sense of hearing hones in on the sound, and she ‘looks’ directly at you.

“Hey, Karkles,” she responds in her kind of grating voice, walking down the front steps without even using her cane. For a blind girl, Terezi Pyrope is _cool_.

“What’s the best bus route from here?” you ask with a note of weariness, nudging her with your extended elbow so that she notices it.

She hooks her arm through yours, her hand resting on your forearm. “Two blocks… that way-” she points with her cane- “turn left, halfway down the block is the bus stop which will best serve the defendant!”

“Life is not a courtroom roleplay,” you tell her crabbily as the two of you start walking, and she cackles.

“Maybe not for you! But I can never be a real-life attorney, ‘cause I’m just a brown-skinned blind girl, so I’ll take what I can get, _your Honor._ ”

You sigh. “Curb,” you state. Her eyebrows raise, she taps said curb with the white tip of her cane, prods the street below, and steps down. “You’re welcome,” you add.

When you reach the bus stop, Terezi tells you which route number you’re supposed to be watching for, and then the two of you just sort of stand there, arm in arm, as Terezi apparently smells the air or something. This is nice, actually. You and she are good friends, and you kind of enjoy standing on the sidewalk, waiting for a bus when you’re standing next to her and she’s holding on to you. It’s nice in a completely platonic way, of course. A long time ago, you dated, and you’re honestly really glad that’s over. The two of you go on ‘dates’ now because Terezi wants to go places, but she needs a chaperone to make sure she doesn’t get lost. You watch her do her weird little thing where she sniffs and twitches her nose and sticks out her tongue. She is brown-skinned, like she said. No one knows her actual ethnicity because she’s adopted, but she looks kind of Middle Eastern or Indian or South American: just brown enough to have to use the “colored” water fountains. Her black hair is shoulder-length and throws off little dots of light.

A bus comes into view. You squint at it, conclude that it is the right bus, and tell Terezi, who pauses in her olfactory exploration to ask you whether it’s one of the normal-sized buses or one of the extra big ones. After a moment, you reply that it looks pretty normal. You know that this information tells her how steep the steps are and how many of them there are, which is important if you don’t want to guide each and every movement of her feet. The bus stops, and she hears the doors open, lets go of your arm, reaches out for the handrail, and climbs fairly nimbly onto the bus, with you right behind her to make sure she doesn’t fall and to pay her bus fare. You aren’t entirely sure why you put up with this.

Once on the bus, however, you realize a problem. The bus is crowded, especially the back part. The colored section.

Normally, you and Terezi would walk down the aisle to the back of the bus and sit together in the colored section. You always got weird looks whenever you went anywhere together; she was obviously blind (which in itself merited attention from strangers) and obviously colored while you were obviously white and obviously taking care of her and alone with her and could you be dating her, a white boy and a brown girl, what were you thinking. This is why you are slowly losing your faith in humanity. This is why you are going to be an astrophysicist: so you can get out of this chaotic mess and maybe find some more civilized species out there that will take you in.

Today, though, you look down the aisle and you see an obstacle course of feet and canes and umbrellas that Terezi couldn’t possibly navigate quickly, and you see absolutely no room in the colored section, and you see two empty seats right in front of you.

Fuck the police.

Your hand pressed lightly against the small of Terezi’s back, you guide her forward a bit and put her hand on the back of one of the two empty seats, your signal for “Sit here”. She looks slightly confused, but she, Terezi Pyrope, is not going to be out-rebel’d by Karkat Vantas, so she sits down, moving to the window seat. God, why does she always get the window seat? It’s not like she can enjoy the scenery. You sit down beside her.

The bus driver turns and looks at you. He asks you just what the hell you think you’re doing, young man. You tell him you’re sitting on a bus. He tells you to go sit in the back. You pull a stunt that you imagine to be very Terezi and look at him in mock surprise, telling him you thought you were white. Terezi snickers softly. Even when she’s confused and probably a little scared, life is a game to her. The driver tells you you’re welcome to stay up front, but the little [racist slur] has to sit in the colored section. You stare at him for a moment, feeling your anger welling up inside you. This little prick is about to get a taste of what happens when someone tries to mess with your friends. He’s getting pissed, now. He shouts at you, asking if you’re deaf or just stupid. You stand up.

“YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” you yell. “THIS GIRL IS BLIND, IF YOU HADN’T NOTICED. THERE’S NO WAY IN A _THOUSAND FIERY HELLS_ THAT SHE COULD MAKE IT TO THE BACK OF THIS SHITTY BUS WITHOUT TRIPPING ON SOMEONE AND GETTING HURT. EVEN IF SHE DID, WHAT THEN? WOULD SHE STAND? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYING TO TELL ME THAT IT IS IN ANY MICROSCOPIC WAY MORALLY JUSTIFIABLE TO MAKE A BLIND GIRL STAND ON A MOVING VEHICLE WHEN IT IS ENTIRELY PLAUSIBLE FOR HER TO BE SITTING DOWN?? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA, NOT RUSSIA, FOR GOD’S SAKE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??”

You note with pride that the entire bus is left in stunned silence for a moment, before the driver finds his voice and orders you off the bus before he calls the police. You take Terezi’s arm, making sure she reaches the stairs safely. She waves goodbye to the bus driver, then cackles all the way down to the sidewalk. As you leave, you snatch your fare out of the driver’s little tray/bucket thing then practically leap off the bus as the driver stands up and reaches out to grab you. When your feet hit the ground, you grab on to Terezi’s forearm and run into the little park that takes up most of this block.

The two of you crash through underbrush, her initial confusion fading quickly as she begins to just charge blindly into the park. One of you trips over a root and you both tumble into the bushes, landing on the ground as a tangle of bodies and branches. You both fall silent for a few seconds. Eventually, the bus pulls away, then, slowly, Terezi starts to laugh. After a moment, you join her, and so you just kind of lay there together for a while, laughing until your sides hurt.

At some point, you will catch your breath and another bus. Terezi will visit Pike Place Market like she wanted to. But for now, you’re laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter was inspired by my desire to have Terezi hum "We Didn't Start the Fire" when she sat down on the bus.


	3. Miss You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat gets another letter from his dumb fish penpal.

It’s a little over a month after that when you get a response from Eridan. No one knows why mail takes so long to get from one place to another. It is a cosmic mystery.

You’re more than a little worried about the contents of the letter which you are holding, and you open it with quivering hands.

kar

first of all i havve to admit that you completely kicked my ass as far as effort put into these letters goes

just the fact that you took the time to correctly punctuate your typing an shit

im not evven gonna try

also i kinda like the caps lock

its vvery you

anywway

my condolences on sols failure to fall off a bridge

i havve been hearin about the wworlds fair thing

the construction noises must be hell especially from wwhere you livve

so yeah

um

in your letter

you mentioned that youre

queer

an all

an i guess i just wwanted to make sure you knoww im okay wwith it

Oh, thank God. You don’t even believe in God, but you are fervently thanking him right now.

also that

i am too?

yeah

Oh. You… actually aren’t all that surprised. Eridan’s all European and flamboyant and dramatic and… Eridan, and you remember how he used to have this purple cape and a blue scarf and he would wear them every single day.

This memory is not especially well-preserved thanks to one of those scarves which he didn’t accidentally leave with you one time and which is not currently in a box that is not in your closet and which you never look at sometimes because how can you look at something that doesn’t exist? Ha ha ha.

huh

life is wweird sometimes

wwait nevvermind that last i just suddenly had some wweird-ass kinda existential-type thoughts

but hey kar one thing i do knoww

your birthdays comin up

an you are goin to get an awwesome present from me this year

He is correct; The World’s Fair starts in only a few days, meaning there are two months until your birthday, meaning that your next letter from him will be accompanied by your birthday present from him.

i dont reely havve any stories for you this time

been doin pretty much nofin

but maybe youll havve some for me i dont knoww

maybe you could push sol off a bridge an then tell me that story

that wwould be a good story i think

i hope jakes doin okay

hes a good kid

No one will ever understand Eridan Ampora’s train of thought. This is a scientific fact.

He’s always looked out for Jake, though. No one’s entirely sure why, not even Eridan or Jake, but Jake always liked and admired Eridan (especially his confidence), even when the latter was entering middle school and a huge ass, and Eridan always acted sort of like Jake’s older brother (which is funny because he basically ignored John, Jake’s actual twin). Eridan’s pretty sweet when it comes to Jake, actually.

mostly i hope youre doin okay kar

i miss you a lot

since i dont havve much a anyfin to say i think ill stop noww

but yeah i miss you

~Eridan Ampora

He is such a sap. It’s kind of pathetic. You think about this as you get up and open your closet door, rifling through a wide assortment of items until you find the box. This is just to check that it’s still in there. You gently, almost reverently, take off the lid and lift the blue-and-white striped scarf out. Yep, still in there. You walk back to your desk, get some paper, set up your typewriter, and begin to type.

ERIDAN

I’M GLAD YOU LIKE THE CAPS, BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE IT’S GOING TO BE A PERMANENT FIXTURE.

YOU WERE RIGHT, THE CONSTRUCTION NOISES WERE HELL. THANK GAMZEE’S CREEPY CLOWNISH IDOLS THE FAIR IS STARTING SOON, SO THEY’VE STOPPED.

BY SOON I MEAN FOUR DAYS, ACTUALLY.

THE SPACE NEEDLE IS AMAZING, THOUGH. I’LL GET TO GO TO THE TOP FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IF NOT BEFORE.

I MAY ACTUALLY HAVE SOME STORIES FOR YOU. SPECIFICALLY, ONE IN WHICH TEREZI AND I WERE GOING TO PIKE PLACE AND WE GOT ON THE BUS, AND THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THERE, SO I DECIDED THAT TEREZI COULD NEVER GET TO THE COLORED SECTION WITHOUT FALLING ON HER FACE. SO, I HAD HER SIT IN ONE OF THE FRONT ROWS IN THE WHITE SECTION. DON’T ASK ME WHAT I WAS THINKING, OK. I DON’T HAVE A CLUE. ANYWAYS THE DRIVER GOT PISSED AND I ENDED UP SHOUTING AT THE BUS DRIVER AND GETTING KICKED OFF THE BUS.

THAT WAS AN EVENTFUL DAY.

SO YEAH, THAT’S KIND OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

I’M PRETTY EXCITED TO GO TO THE WORLD’S FAIR?

HOPEFULLY IT WILL BE WORTH MY TIME.

THE NICE THING IS THAT VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE LIKELY TO NOTICE ALL OF US HANGING OUT TOGETHER, WHICH IS A RELIEF, ESPECIALLY WITH TEREZI AND TAVROS AND SOLLUX AND ARADIA.

AND I MISS YOU TOO, ASSHOLE. I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU THAT.

KARKAT

Missing Eridan is an understatement, you think. You sit there for a little while, just thinking about things, because this chair is fairly comfortable and you’re wearing a wool sweatshirt and your neck and mouth and cheeks and nose are warm and-

You’re sitting in your chair with your knees pulled to your chest and your face buried in Eridan’s scarf.

What the fuck.

This scarf smells like cinnamon and sea spray which you wouldn’t expect to smell good but it does.

What the FUCK.

Maybe that’s what Eridan smelled like. You can’t remember.

What the fuck is wrong with you.

Maybe Eridan still smells like that. You are tempted to sniff the letter you just received.

You take the letter you just wrote out of the typewriter and put it in an envelope before it can be affected by this insanity that has gripped you so tightly.


	4. Lalondiabound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of siblingly love.

About a month later, you are heading to a party that you aren’t sure whether you want to be at or not.

You walk out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, hair still wet from your shower, and into your bedroom to get changed, only to find your sister sort of rolling around on your bed and groaning. You shut the door behind you pointedly. She sits up at the sound at looks at you.

“What the fuck are you doing in my room,” you state.

Nepeta flops back down onto your bed, squirming around so that she’s laying on her stomach. “I have to wear a dress,” she grumbles.

“And? So do lots of people.”

“But Karrrrkiiittyyyy!”

“I know, Nepeta.” You rub her back. “It’s difficult for you to understand how the experiences of others could have any comparable validity to your own experiences. Seriously, though, just wear the stupid dress and then take it off afterwards. They’re not going to fucking tattoo it onto your skin.”

“Ew!” she says, and then her attention shifts. She moves to sit on your headboard, looking at you and then at your bare chest. “You know, you’re purretty cute, Karkitty! I can’t believe mew don’t have a boyfuriend.”

You shh her quickly; your father's downstairs as well as a preacher, and everyone in your family seems to have a habit of speaking louder than intended. Once satisfied that she'll at least avoid the word boyfriend (or any cat-punned variations thereupon), you wrinkle your nose at her. “I guess the rumors of my psychotic demon cat sister spread too quickly for me to have a chance with anyone.”

She giggles. “Just wait until I’m taller than mew!”

You scoff, stepping into a pair of ‘nice’ pants. "Shut up."

“Karkitty, they always said that if mew drink too much catffeine you’ll nefur get tall. Mew were warned! It’s no one’s furlt but your own!!”

Before you can fucking _throttle_ her, there’s a sound downstairs. Neither of you can tell who’s making it or why. Nepeta hops off your headboard and lays down with her ear to the floor. After a moment, she smiles. “Mom just came in,” she tells you matter-of-factly, because she is apparently the _expurrt_ at identifying sounds.

As if on cue, your dad calls up the stairs, asking if you’re both ready, then telling Nepeta to put her dress on. You ask Nepeta if she needs help, even though she’s fifteen years old and should be able to put a dress on by herself, because you are just that kind of older brother, and the look on her face tells you that she’ll need you there, if not for technical help then for moral support.

While you help your little sister with her dress, she whines to you about it. “It’s so stupid! I don’t want to wear this! I’m going to feel so silly at the purrty.”

“You won’t be alone, at least. You know Gamzee and Jake will have to wear dresses too, and it’s even worse for them.”

She sighs. “I suppaws you’re right.”

Her dress is modest and formal, olive green with gray accents. Not that you would tell her, but she really does look nice in it. Your suit is simple, black with olive accents, and your tie is gray. No one in your family is ever really sure who is responsible for the coordination of yours and Nepeta’s clothes.

Nepeta doesn’t like dresses, or skirts, or blouses, or makeup. All she likes is her blue hat with the little white cat face on it, her olive green jacket thing, and generally masculine fashion. You really don’t give a shit what she wears, but apparently society does, and “society” includes your mom and dad.

“There,” you say when her dress is secured. “Good to go.”

She pouts, slipping her feet into brown flats with a huff. “Come on, then. Let’s get the hell out of Dodge befur I come to my senses and light this fureaking dress on fire.”

A wave of pity washes over you. Although you are only a year older than Nepeta, you have always felt personally responsible for her happiness and well-being, as much as she may annoy the hell out of you. “Tell you what,” you begin, hugging her. “If you can pull off this party without a hitch, I’ll make blueberry pancakes for you tomorrow morning and watch I Love Lucy reruns with you.”

The little gasping sound she makes is worth getting up early to start pancakes. “You’re the best, Karkitty!!” She squeezes you, then rests her head on your shoulder, making a soft sound similar to purring in the back of her throat.

Your dad is calling up the stairs again. Turns out you’re leaving in five minutes? “I THOUGHT THE PARTY WAS AT 4 PM, NOT 3,” you retort. He patiently (not) reminds you that the traffic around the fairgrounds is hellish, especially at this time of day, and the veritable mansion which you and your friends fondly refer to as Lalondia is on the other side of the city. You grudgingly acquiesce, and then you and Nepeta grudgingly descend to meet your parents, at which point Nepeta grudgingly accepts your parents’ comments about how pretty she looks.

Five minutes later, you are Lalondiabound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's going to Trans Pride today??  
> ME!!  
> Speaking of which, some lovely trans characters coming up in the next chapter, which I'll post in like an hour.


	5. Pumpkin Party in Sea Hitler's Water Apocalypse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feeling of this chapter is based largely on that of Alterniabound and Reterniabound. Anyways, this is one of the longest chapters, and over half of the characters are introduced in it, so enjoy.  
> Also, warning for language that might be seen as transphobic, specifically the word "transvestite". To be clear, "transvestite" means the same thing as "transgender" in this story. I'm only using it because that's the word that would be used in that time period.

Lalondia is not as large or fancy as you remember Eridan and Feferi’s houses being, but it serves its purpose as the abode and lab of a classy renegade mad scientist and her two equally mad, classy daughters. The door is answered by the youngest of the Lalondes, who is wearing a calf-length black dress with a white octopus-like symbol on it and a long lavender-magenta sash, her hair pushed back by her signature headband.

“The Leijon-Vantas family,” says Rose Lalonde. “I would graciously declare this a pleasant surprise, had you not RSVP’d several weeks ago. My apologies for my lack of a guardian in the immediate proximity, by the way; she and my dear sister Roxy have already opened at least one bottle of merlot, which I deemed an appropriate reason to nominate myself for single-handed welcoming duty. Do come in.” Your whole family steps into the mudroom, your parents following Rose’s quick directions as to where best to put their coats. While your parents are still within earshot, you tell Rose that she looks nice, Nepeta agrees, and Rose returns the compliments. Once your parents have joined the party, you ask the blonde if she’s still experimenting with the occult. She winks and tells you that she hopes none of these good Christian types decide to go into her bedroom, but then her voice takes a more serious tone.

“Gamzee and Jake are already here, among others,” she informs you softly. “From what I’ve witnessed as of yet, Gamzee would benefit from your support.”

You nod, and suddenly you are a man with a mission, all but forgetting Rose and Nepeta’s existences. Gamzee needs you.

It’s not difficult to find him. It’s never difficult to locate Gamzee in a crowd. Today, he’s sort of withdrawn, standing in the corner of the room, shoulders drawn together as though hoping no one will notice him. This is not usual for him. Usually, he’s happily drawn to the center of attention, smiling distantly but genuinely and honking. He does literally make honking noises. You have the strangest taste in people you care about.

Of course, you are acutely aware of the fact that the change in Gamzee’s body language can be directly attributed to the fact that he is wearing a dress.

“Hey man,” you say, softly for your standards. His dark pupils flick toward you, and he straightens up a bit, a smile playing across his lips. You spare no time for pleasantries, and go straight in for a hug. Gamzee is never one to waste a hug from you (you are proud to say that hugs from you are for everyone few and far between), and in an instant his face is buried in your puffy hair. You notice that he's tense, almost quivering.

He pulls away after a moment and smiles at you in earnest (you will never admit to anyone how proud you are that you can make him smile even when he's in this condition), saying, "How has life been putting its show on for you since I last up and saw you, my most miraculous brother?"

God, Gamzee is so weird. You sigh. "For one thing, it turns out Kankri won't be showing his face or sweater on or around my birthday, which is a relief." Your brother is actually worse than your father, and you are incredibly glad that you will not be drowning in his endless, unsolicited sermons when you're supposed to be having a good time.

Gamzee nods. "A motherfucking miracle."

You glare at him. "It's called being born on the week that most colleges are having their finals, idiot."

"Miracles make themselves up in some wicked mysterious ways, brother." He is, as usual, unfazed by your blatant dismissal of his religious beliefs. All of your friends are incredibly well accustomed to you being the biggest asshole on the West Coast. You can't help but feel bad about that sometimes. "I could use a little Mexican miracle right now, though, if the powers above see fit," he adds, referring to one Tavros Nitram, who has not showed up yet.

Jake walks past you, accompanied by Dirk Strider, and stops to talk. As you expected, Jake is also wearing a dress. It's weird to see him in it, just like it's weird to see Gamzee in one. It brings to mind memories of a bouncy, excitable little girl with long, black hair and big round glasses who you learned a few years ago was really just a lie all along, just Jake trying to convince himself he wasn't who he is. His dad still sees him as his perfect daughter, as Jade, and so Jake turns mainly to his brother John and his friend (although lately you've been wondering if they're something more than friends) Dirk for support. Gamzee, of course, turns to you, a fact which you are secretly quite proud of.

“Hello Karkat,” Jake says, a bit quietly. “Hello Gamzee.”

“Hey Jake.” Suddenly, you remember something you meant to tell him. “Eridan says hi, he hopes you're doing alright, and he wanted to tell you to keep your head up and everything. Evveryfin,” you correct, mocking Ampora's voice.

Jake smiles. “Oh! That's quite considerate of him.”

Yet another group of people knocks on the door. You hear Rose answer it, and an uncertain voice responding to her questions. Gamzee perks up. “My motherfucking prayers are all bein' up and answered today,” he murmurs, smiling even wider, because that voice could not be more obviously Tavros Nitram's. Gamzee pats you on the head (he's taller than you and that's so unfair) and claps Jake on the back (exhibiting the allegiance between fellow transvestites) and then slips away to woo himself a Nitram.

“Go get 'em, tiger,” Dirk says quietly.

You are now joined by two more people, much less welcome than the previous pair, which is odd because they are literally the siblings of said previous pair. But then again, it's not odd, because this is John Egbert and Dave Strider, the heterosexual horrorterrors.

John waves at all of you, that undying grin plastered across his face. “Hi, Dirk! Hi, Jake! Hi, Karkat!” The way he says your name is weird, like he's stretching it out, tasting each syllable and trying to make sense of it.

Dave offers one simple “‘Sup.”

You groan. “Two Egberts and two Striders in one conversation. My lucky day.”

The Egbert boys laugh, the Striders remaining too cool for that.

Before the awkwardness of the situation escalates any more, Gamzee reappears, pushing Tavros's wheelchair towards you.

“Oh, uh, hi," stammers Tavros, who is paralyzed from the waist down due to a childhood accident. "I hope we aren't interrupting, anything, by which I mean, uh, hopefully our arrival hasn't, messed up, any kind of important or, private, conversation?”

John shakes his head. “Nope! We were just saying hi!”

“You're more than welcome to join us,” Jake adds.

You notice that Dave has been unusually quiet, and look over at him to find that his attention is directed at someone else entirely. “Earth to Strider,” you snap. “Are you there, Strider?”

He turns back to look at you. “Oh, yeah, Strider is in prime condition up here. Got some moons, some stars, some planets, looking pretty fucking sweet.” Dave is such a “cool kid”. It drives you insane.

“See anything you like up there?” asks Dirk knowingly.

“Oh, bro, you have no idea. None. This is one helluva view.” He pauses. “Think I should pull some mind-blowing moves on Miss Pyrope over there?”

Of course, he’s looking at Terezi. You scoff. “Of all the females in Seattle, she is the last one you should ‘pull some moves on’. She’s blind, you ass. You can’t distract her with your meager good looks. All she’ll see is the complete fucknugget within.”

John giggles- actually giggles, what an idiot- at Dave. “You were just owned, man.”

“Pretty pathetic own,” he responds, unfazed. Of course it was pathetic. It wasn’t even an ‘own’, it was just the truth. “Oh, wait, dude, I think Rose is off door duty. Let’s see if my little sister has any better advice.” You have stopped trying to remember in what weird way Rose and Dave are kind-of-siblings. The heterosexual horrorterrors make their exit, John ruffling his little brother’s hair as he goes.

You look at the quartet in front of you and begin, “So, my birthday’s in about a month…”

Gamzee smiles. “You got some miraculous gifts all coming at you by me, brother.”

“Thanks, man. Anyways, for my birthday my parents are getting me in to the World’s Fair,” you continue.

“Wow, you’re pretty, lucky, then!” says Tavros.

“If you’ll allow me, I’m about to get to the point. Good? Okay. Now, my parents also said that I can bring as many friends as I want. So, as much as you annoy me, I want you all to come. If you want.”

All of their eyes widen. You’re pretty sure none of your friends have been to the fair yet, as most of them are in the lower middle class, like you, and the fair is somewhat on the expensive side, and all of them have chosen to wait a while before going in the hopes of avoiding the biggest crowds.

“That would be some wicked miraculous times, motherfucker,” Gamzee responds after a moment.

Dirk cuts in. “Put me at the top of the list, my friend. Who else are you inviting?”

You consider that for a moment. “Nepeta, of course, Terezi, the four of you, Rose, Kanaya, Aradia, and Sollux. And I’m not sure about Dave and John. I… I think I’ll invite them too. They’re pretty much my friends, I guess, even though they're insufferable shitstains, and my parents are paying for it, and I don’t have to, like, spend time with them.”

Jake nods. “That sounds quite exciting! I would be happy to join you.”

“I’d definitely enjoy it, as well, I think,” Tavros adds.

You tell them cool, you’ll let your parents know. Then you excuse yourself from the conversation in order to go find more friends and invite them. Luckily, Dirk and Jake agree to pass the invitation along to their brothers, so you won’t have to deal with that.

* * *

 

You find Rose entrenched in a conversation with John and Dave. Selflessly deciding to rescue her and the tall, classy girl/woman at her side, you walk up to them.

“I would _hate_ to interrupt what I'm sure is a riveting conversation, but I need to talk to Rose and Kanaya for a second,” you announce. They all look at you.

“Of course,” Rose concedes. “One moment please.” She turns back to her kind-of-brother. “Dave, my advice is that you simply be yourself around her and pray to whatever powers exist that she considers who you are acceptable.”

Dave sighs, and John says his goodbyes. The two girls step away and turn to you.

“It’s nice to see you, Karkat,” says Rose’s companion and one of your very close friends, Kanaya Maryam, carefully enunciating each word as she always does. “How can I or Rose be of help to you?”

“I don't need any help or anything,” you tell them. “I just wanted to invite the two of you to come with me and a couple other people to the World's Fair for my birthday.”

Rose smiles. “I wouldn't speak for Kanaya, but I know I'll be free that day. I'd love to come.”

Kanaya nods. “That would be nice.”

“Great, I'll let my parents know.” You leave them to their not-flirting.

* * *

 

Your next victim is Terezi, who agrees readily. After that, you move on to Sollux and Aradia. Unsurprisingly, they are sitting on a couch together, talking about God knows what. They've been dating for almost a year, even though Sollux is black and Aradia is Japanese-American, making their relationship undesirable in most parts of society.

Sollux notices you and waves. “‘Sup, KK,” he lisps.

“Oh, hello,” Aradia greets, smiling as usual.

“Hey. I'm not going to interrupt your intense boyfriend/girlfriend time for long, I just wanted to know if you're able and willing to come to the World's Fair on my birthday.”

“If AA's going, sure,” Sollux responds apathetically.

“I'm definitely coming! It sounds very interesting,” she says.

You nod.

* * *

 

* * *

 

The next morning, you wake up about half an hour before Nepeta will and sneak downstairs to start making pancakes. Not only do you put blueberries in them, you also make them shaped like cat faces, one big circle with two little ovals for ears, and you carefully place the blueberries to form eyes, whiskers, and a mouth and nose.

Nepeta comes downstairs almost exactly when you expect her to, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and looking for all the world like a cat grooming itself. She looks up when she reaches the floor, nose twitching, having caught the scent of the small pile of pancakes waiting on the table for her.

You walk over to her and ruffle her short black hair, and she pulls you into a tight hug, then practically runs over to the table.

When she's finished eating (the pancakes are a success, you note), the two of you wash the dishes you used and then sit down in front of the small television in your living room and turn to the channel that promises to show nothing but reruns of I Love Lucy, Nepeta's favorite show.

****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the last one! I hope you're enjoying it.


	6. The Kids Aren't Alright

Today is your seventeenth birthday. Nepeta wakes you up by sitting down hard on your chest/stomach and bouncing, half-shouting "Wake up!! Wake up, you lazy kitten! It's your birthday!!!"

Naturally, you wake with a start, shove your sister off of you, and yell at her a bit for waking you up because _what is she crazy_ and _what the hell was that for_. She laughs at you, and you glower. You then register the smell of blueberry pancakes, and she grins at you.

When you reach the bottom of the stairs, you realize that Nepeta has, in fact, made pancakes for you (blueberry is both yours and Nepeta's favorite). They are shaped like cat faces, and you would have expected no less from your psychotic demon cat sister. It's obvious that Nepeta is really excited to go to the Fair, especially with the way she babbles about how she wants to go in the Space Needle as you eat your pancakes and sort of listen.

Once you've finished eating and washing up, you and she go upstairs to get ready, saying good morning to your parents when you pass them.

Nepeta, unsurprisingly, will be wearing her blue hat, her green jacket thing, a black t-shirt, and blue jeans. Hopefully your parents won’t object.

Your outfit consists of a long-sleeved black t-shirt, gray/black jeans, and a little bit of eyeliner because why the hell not. This is pretty much the norm for you. Taking that along with your pale skin, black hair, and abrasive attitude, you have a style that generally discourages people you don’t know from talking to you, which you appreciate.

Finally, both of you are ready, and you descend the stairs, waiting a little while for your parents to get dressed (once again, they fail to notice that you’re wearing eyeliner, which is a really good thing because you don’t want to know what your dad would do if he found out), and then you, Nepeta, and your mother head to the Fair. On the way out, you stop to open the mailbox- nothing. Eridan’s letter and gift still haven’t arrived, but you don’t mind terribly that it’ll come late; this has happened before, so you’re pretty much used to it. Nepeta gives you a strange look when you close the mailbox, one that even you can’t quite figure out.

* * *

 

You’re early; your friends were told to meet you between 9:30 and 10:00 am, and it’s only 9:15. You wait in a grassy area near the elevated Monorail track as your mother frets over Nepeta’s clothes and hair, looking like a worried bee buzzing around an annoyed and disinterested flower.

* * *

 

The others show up one by one, until it’s 10:05 and the Striders appear. Kanaya, responsible as always, does a quick head count just to be sure and tells you there are thirteen, not including your mother, which is everyone. Your mom won’t be coming with you; she’s just here to make sure everyone shows up alright.

With that, you enter the fairgrounds.

Once you’re inside, of course, a few people grab maps of the fairgrounds and you all sit down (except Tavros, who just continues to sit in his wheelchair) on a wide lawn to decide where you’re headed. Kanaya wants to go to the Interiors, Fashion, and Commerce Building and hopefully catch one of Vogue’s fashion shows; Aradia is greatly interested in the Fine Arts Pavilion; Rose points out some theatre group that’s performing at the Playhouse; Dave, of course, suggests the strip show thing on Show Street (God, you hope he’s joking); a few people have their eyes on the World of Tomorrow; some request Jones’ Fantastic Show; Gamzee and Tavros both vote for the Gayway. In the end, you all decide that you’ll start with the Gayway, the amusement park part of the fair.

Almost immediately after arriving at the Gayway, you regret this decision. You are terrified of roller coasters and any variations thereupon, and all of your friends know it. After being strongarmed into a few rides (the moments in which you envy Terezi and Tavros are few and far between, but _they_ didn’t have to go on that spinning death machine), you are done and direct your friends’ attention to the carnival-type games in little booths. A little less than an hour later (Nepeta checks her watch and announces that it’s 11:07, you don’t know why she’s been watching the time so much), you have won one of those fake plush cat tails for your sister, and she’s wearing it happily, Gamzee is wheeling Tavros from stall to stall, and Dirk and Jake are holding hands. At 11:10, Kanaya drags you all off for the 11:20 fashion show, which turns out to be only vaguely interesting. The show ends at 11:50, at which point you consider going to the World of Science, but Nepeta says you should save that for after lunch so you don’t have to cut it short, so the eleven of you (Dave and John have disappeared, but you honestly really don’t mind) hang around the Fine Arts Pavilion and Boulevards of the World for a while.

At precisely 12:25 (you know that this is the time because you looked over your sister’s shoulder when she checked her watch yet again), Nepeta decides she wants to see the Space Needle. Like, she really wants to see the Space Needle, apparently, because she is determinedly and hurriedly leading you all toward it, paying no mind to the fact that a few of you were in the middle of various somethings. You have no clue what’s gotten into her today- she’s definitely acting like something’s up, but you can’t figure out what it could be.

At 12:29, you are approaching the base of the Needle. Gamzee pushes Tavros’s wheelchair through the grass without a thought, cheerfully ignoring the worried noises Tavros makes whenever he hits a rock. Nepeta is grinning in earnest now, and the suspense is kind of killing you, and you’re just about to grab her by the shoulders and shake some answers out of-- and then you see him.

He’s leaning against one of the huge concrete supports, clearly waiting for someone to show up, and you probably wouldn’t recognize him if he weren’t wearing that stupid cape even in _June_ , even after all these years, the cape and the scarf and the purple streak in his black hair, and then he sees you and stands up, and it turns out his gift wasn’t late at all because he’s literally _standing right there_. As you get closer to him, you see him smiling, and then you’re running and you’ve forgotten how to think. Suddenly, he’s there, and he hugs you, and _god he’s so much taller than you it’s not even fair_ , and he smells kind of like cinnamon and sea spray. He presses something into your hands and you don’t see it but you are willing to bet good money that it’s the stupid fucking rock from the Berlin Wall. And then you’re kissing him. You, Karkat Vantas, are kissing Eridan Ampora, and he’s kissing you back, and you make a mental note to _murder_ Nepeta later because you just _know_ she was behind this. You honestly don’t care that you’re two boys kissing in public and even if you get arrested you still won’t care, even though you’re pretty sure Eridan would get pissed; even if your parents disown you you don’t think you’ll care because this is _awesome_. You’re at the World’s Fair and everything around you is strange and futuristic and amazing, you’ve stepped into a brave new world where Terezi doesn’t sit in the colored section and Jake and Gamzee don’t wear dresses and Nepeta isn’t pressured to wear makeup and _you and Eridan are kissing_ and all of you can just be yourselves and different without having to be afraid. The land of the free and the home of the brave.

* * *

 

Later, Eridan will greet your friends, and Rose and Kanaya will tell him it’s good to see him, and Sollux will pretend to be annoyed but won’t be able to completely hide his smile; later, you will all go up to the Eye of the Needle for lunch, and you and Eridan will step out onto the balcony, lean against the railing with your shoulders touching and look out at Seattle and the Cascades while he sort of babbles at you and flirts and you’ll shove him and tell him to shut the fuck up and he _won’t_ , of course, because he’s _Eridan_ and because he knows you’re all bark and no bite; later, your group will go to the World of Science and you’ll understand why Nepeta didn’t want you to go before lunch, because Eridan loves science in general and the United States Science Pavilion will be his _favorite thing ever_ , and you’ll think Nepeta was pretty clever arranging all of this, but you’ll still shove her every time she giggles. Later, Rose’s mom the renegade scientist will give you and Eridan and Rose a ride to the Lalonde mansion, where Eridan will be staying until his father comes back to Seattle, and where you’ll sit on a couch together and Eridan will put his arm around your shoulders as the three of you argue about whether the World of Science or the World of Tomorrow was better. Later, you and Eridan will date for years behind closed doors; later, he’ll bring you coffee at midnight when you’re studying for finals at the University of Washington. Later, you’ll be Terezi’s eyes at a civil rights protest and you’ll be Sollux’s best man when he marries Aradia. Later, you’ll attend the graduation ceremony that makes Terezi the first handicapped, colored female lawyer and you’ll support Gamzee through the long ordeal of his sex reassignment surgery as Eridan supports Jake through his. Exactly twelve years and sixteen days later, you and Eridan will take part in Seattle’s first gay pride parade, along with Rose and Kanaya and Gamzee and Tavros and Dirk and Jake, and you’ll kiss him in front of the whole world.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and today is your seventeenth birthday, colloquially known as June 12, 1962. You are the protagonist of this tale, but not the hero of it. Yet you will be a hero, in your small way, largely due to the fact that you are generally more abrasive than heroic. You have never been afraid to fight for what you love and what you believe in, and so you shall fight.

For now, though, you’re at the World’s Fair with your friends on the best day of your life, and all of you are different, not one of you is ‘normal’ or ‘right’, and that’s beautiful.


End file.
